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Subscriber active since. Note: The author paymedaddy a freelance writer in her 30s whose identity was verified by Insider. While some people consider sugar relationships a form of sex workit's a label rejected by sugar dating sites and some members themselves. This story was originally published in as part of a series on the financial side of relationships; you can read other entries in the series here.
Six months ago, I decided to become a sugar baby. My reasoning was simple. I'd grown frustrated with dating men in my city — maybe I'd just had one too many Tinder dates end in mediocre conversation. My day job offers me control over my schedule, since I don't work a traditional nine-to-five.
I wanted to supplement my income and have some fun doing it, so I decided to paymedaddy finding a sugar daddy. For the uninitiated, "sugaring" is a form of dating in which one partner financially supports paymedaddy other, often in the form of cash or gifts.
As a woman in a major city with an appreciation for societal deviance, I figured the lifestyle might suit me well. Whether it was exhaustion of millennial swiping, or maybe the thrill of experiencing life outside my usual means, I found myself creating a profile on the primary website for sugaring connections, SeekingArrangement. In the half-year since then, I've met some highly interesting people — not to mention I've received thousands of dollars in cash, trips across the country, access to five-star hotels and restaurants, and expensive gifts like shoes and clothing I never could have ordinarily afforded.
As with regular dating, if you dive into the sugaring lifestyle without an idea of what you want, you're likely to be disappointed. Do you want a cash allowance, and do you have a set amount in mind? Is it certain bills you want covered? Do you want gifts, shopping, and travel? Having a clear idea paymedaddy what kind of "sugar," or exchange, you want for the relationship is key. How about the actual dating part — do you like dating older men? Because sugar daddies tend to be older than the women they date. How much time do you want to spend with your sugar daddy? And does your current lifestyle give you the freedom to do so?
I spent weekends tucked away in five-star hotels, lazily ordering room service with cringeworthy markups. While I enjoy expensive dinners and staying in fancy hotels, ultimately I was searching for paymedaddy friendly relationship that provides a cash allowance. Some men don't wish to provide an allowance, and I avoid meeting and dating those men, often called "experience daddies.
If you're considering sugar dating solely for the money, it will be much more stressful, since it'll become a second job. Sugar dating amplifies the faults of regular, or "vanilla," dating. You may receive messages from, go on first dates with, and be ghosted by far more men than in vanilla dating.
And it's a bad idea to depend on sugar as a primary source of income, because there's never really any guarantee of stability. Additionally, financial desperation makes you vulnerable to malicious men who have no intentions to provide sugar, or it might influence you to date men you otherwise wouldn't consider having a relationship with. It's common practice to adopt a sugar identity separate from your real-life identity. My online profile uses a generic name, and I do not disclose my real identity — even after I meet my sugar daddy in person, in some cases.
I'm glad I do that, since every sugar daddy I've met has similarly guarded his identity. I suggest creating an alter ego for anyone considering trying any sort of internet fringe dating, paymedaddy sugaring. Along the same lines, I ed up for a few anonymous messaging apps, as well as a fake.
Popular messaging apps for "moving the conversation off the website" include WhatsApp, Kik, Snapchat, WeChat, and al, but a phone paymedaddy often the preferred method. I suggest getting paymedaddy Google Voice attached to an anonymous. Getting started with a dating profile as a sugar baby is pretty simple. I described my personality and wrote a few charming epithets that I thought might be appealing to the kind of man I'd like to spend time with. The key thing is honesty, both in your self-descriptions and your pictures.
While face-altering filters exist and can help mask your identity, apparently it's a turnoff for men. And I've had men straight-up message me, "Thank goodness you don't have a dog-filter picture! I think the most common misconception about becoming a sugar baby is that sugar daddies are looking to date only year-old blond models. This is largely untrue — being traditionally attractive certainly helps, but a sugar baby can look like any woman of just about any age.
I don't get discouraged, and I paymedaddy to attract only men who I think will find me attractive. Being deceptive with appearances will only hurt you later. The secrecy of the sugaring lifestyle means I have to be careful about the pictures I use on my dating profiles. Many sugar daddies will run a reverse-image search of sugar babies' profile pictures in an attempt to avoid scammers who are using photos from models and influencers.
To protect my identity, I make sure not to use photos that exist anywhere on my social-media s. I have a strict paymedaddy cross-contamination" rule when it comes to photos. Also, I make sure I know which photos are viewable to the public and which are available by request only.
I'll often check back and remove viewing privileges from certain men if the conversation didn't lead any further. After dipping my toes in the sugaring community, I began to adopt the language used by sugar babies and sugar daddies in the online world. Sugar babies and sugar daddies are often referred to as SBs and SDs — partly for brevity's sake and partly because some people are weirded out by saying "baby" and "daddy. Usually, money doesn't change hands here, though it's not unusual for the sugar baby to receive a small gift. Some relationships are PPM, or "pay per meet" — in those arrangements, paymedaddy sugar daddy gives the sugar baby a specified amount per date.
In another type of relationship, sugar daddies give an "allowance" on a set schedule, paymedaddy monthly or biweekly, either in cash or through a payment app like Venmo.
Many relationships start out PPM, paymedaddy it's less risky for the sugar daddy than setting up an allowance right away. A "Splenda daddy" is a sugar daddy with a cheaper budget. And a "salt daddy" is just a jerk, especially if they're faking generosity just to paymedaddy into your pants. And though the term's a bit crass, sugar babies have to be wary of what the community calls a "pump and dump" — the common occurrence of a false sugar daddy not providing any allowance or PPM, getting intimate with a sugar baby, and ghosting.
To avoid falling victim to one of these, you should never initiate any intimacy with a sugar daddy unless you've already received your sugar. To get what I was looking for out of a sugar relationship, I had to become comfortable bringing it up with men. There are plenty of men on the site trying to get laid free, so I learned to not assume they'd provide any financial compensation on their own.
I would bring up the subject before the meet-and-greet. Paymedaddy I first began meeting men off the site, I was pretty timid about even mentioning an allowance — and regrettably realized they had no intention of sugaring me.
Some people would say on their profiles that they "don't want anything transactional," usually meaning they don't want to pay for sex or dating — in fact, the word "transactional" in a profile is pretty much a red flag that sugar babies avoid at all costs. Though there are no age limits for sugar babies and sugar daddies, it's common for a sugar daddy to be ificantly older than the sugar baby. Having an extramarital sugar baby requires some level of discretion. Being recognized in paymedaddy could cause either of you personal or professional distress, not to mention it could lower your sugaring prospects.
Personally, I didn't have a problem dating sugar daddies who were married. After all, they were the ones who contacted me — and if they are willing to go through the effort of messaging me and agreeing on an arrangement, they'd be willing to do it for someone else. Related: 8 things I wish I knew before I got divorced. It's important to be on the same about how much of a time commitment you want in your sugaring relationship.
Some sugar daddies want to meet several times a week, while others paymedaddy once a month.
I find myself liking the attention of men who enjoy hearing from me throughout the week but don't need my attention all day, every day. I certainly can enjoy the company of an older man and don't have qualms about being seen in public with a sugar daddy.
It's a decision every person needs to make for themselves. On top of setting up a Google Voicethere are several other safety precautions I had to take as I got deeper into the sugaring lifestyle. Paymedaddy one, it's always good to let people know where you are when you're meeting strangers from the internet. I tell all my dates that I have a friend I need to check in with on first dates, and I have never had a negative response to this.Paymedaddy
email: [email protected] - phone:(541) 907-5724 x 1518
I'm a 'sugar baby' who gets paid $ a date — here's what it's really like to date sugar daddies and get cash, gifts, and 5-star hotel stays